The Laughing Cow - Who's Laughing Now? (And Other Cheese Adventures)

I had no idea how much cheese we ate until we came here.  Apparently, we eat a lot of cheese!  I know, because I miss it so much, and so do the kids and Mike.  We probably kept Highland Crest Dairy in business in Charlotte, because I know that every time I went to the ol' Harry Teets (yes, that is what we really called it, although only to ourselves, and certainly never in front of the children, because they would invariably scream it out in some embarrassingly public place, like the doctor's office waiting room, or Walmart or something), I would get at least two of the packs of shredded cheddar, a block of something like pepper jack or monterrey jack, and often another pack of shredded mozzarella or mexican mix.  We put cheese on sandwiches, crackers, chili, tacos, all kinds of casseroles, baked potatoes, pizza, and lots of other things that I now have only a vague memory of making.  (We've been eating a lot of pb&j.  A lot.  No cooking utensils or pots or pans or baking dishes really puts a hamper on making meals.  Not to mention that the commisssary is dismally understocked.)  (Fortunately, this is Lawrence's favorite food!  "Peanut budder je-wee!") 

Imagine my surprise when we arrived, and....no cheese!  Well, that's not really fair.  They do have shredded mozzarella, in bags that are puffed up in a scary way that screams to me "I've already gone bad!"  They also have extraordinarily expensive cheeses that I usually only buy for having company over, like Edom or Gouda.  (And I thought they were expensive at home - jeez!  Not like here!)  And then there's the "cheddar."  Yes, they claim to have cheddar cheese.  Our favorite.  Our staple.  Our go-to-cheese.  (Must be the Scots-Irish in my blood.)  But the "cheddar" that they are so excited about in the commissary is shelf after shelf of that awful, processed, prewrapped, sliced stuff.  These are usually labeled as American at home.  Here they are "cheddar," and they are all different colors, like white, orange, yellow, and shades in between.  They are VERY SHINY when you open them up.  They do not melt.  They actually look more like thin, plastic, flexible squares, like something that might make a good pot holder if it was bigger.  Or maybe a launch pad for a toy rocket ship.  Or a window sticker.  Also scary, they stick to the wall.  Hmmm.  Of course, last but not least, they taste TERRIBLE.  As in, I can't eat them.  Would rather go hungry.  But that's just my opinion - scariest of all - my boys and my husband devour them!  Ugh!  Well, at least they're not going into cheese withdrawal like I am.  I'll just have to find another source of calcium, salt, and fat.  Milk and chips, anyone?

Laughing Cow means something different now.  Bwha ha ha, you can't get the cheese you want, bwha ha ha!