Freedom, or lack thereof

A while ago, one of Mike's Saudi co-workers told him a story of how he and his (also Saudi) wife were sitting together on a bench in the mall.  They were approached by the Mutawwas (religious police), because men and women are not permitted to be seen together in public.  It's ok if you are married or blood related, so when they said "We are married" the Mutawwas demanded proof.  Of course, they did not have a marriage certificate handy and their word was not enough.  So the Mutawwas took them aside to different rooms and interrogated them individually (presumably with questions like "when is your anniversary" and "what is your spouse's favorite food" and "how many kids do you have") until they were satisfied that they were, in fact, married.  Supposedly the whole think took a long time (hours), which is apparently less time than what it would take if they had resisted.  

Yikes.  But on some level, it's good to know that this happens to Saudis as well as westerners.  (This happens not infrequently to US citizens around here, too.) 

The reason why I'm posting this now is that I was on the US Consulate website for something else, and I stumbled across the "rules" for Saudi Arabia.  I pasted them below so all of you can read up on how to act over here!  The rules I pasted below are only for social; I intentionally did not post all the rules, mostly because, Mom, I didn't want to scare you with the 'women are not allowed to leave the country without their husband's permission' stuff.  (Of course Mike will always let me leave!!  He is not Saudi after all!)  

Anyway, check this out:  (and I hope it gives you renewed appreciation for our country, even in the midst of all this election garbage, that there is no freedom like our freedom, anywhere else in the world!) 

Standards of Conduct and Religious Police: Islam is the official religion of the country and pervades all aspects of life in Saudi Arabia. Public display of non-Islamic religious articles such as crosses and Bibles is not permitted. Non-Muslims are forbidden to travel to Makkah (Mecca) and Madinah, the cities where the two holiest mosques of Islam are located. Norms for public behavior in Saudi Arabia are extremely conservative, and the Commission on Promotion of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice (CPVPV), the religious police (Mutawwa or Al-Hay’ah colloquially), are charged with enforcing these standards on behalf of the CPVPV. Mutawwa are required to carry special identification and usually are accompanied by uniformed police; however, in some cases they have detained persons without police presence. To ensure that conservative standards of conduct are observed, the Saudi religious police have accosted or arrested foreigners, including U.S. citizens, for improper dress or other alleged infractions, such as consumption of alcohol or association by a female with a male to whom she is not related. Mutawwa who are accompanied by a uniformed police officer have the power to take you to police or Mutawwa headquarters. If a uniformed police officer is present, you must (if requested) hand over your iqama or identification to the police officer. While most incidents have resulted only in inconvenience or embarrassment, the potential exists for an individual to be arrested, physically harmed or deported. U.S. citizens who are involved in an incident with the Mutawwa should report the incident to the U.S. Embassy in Riyadh or the U.S. Consulates General in Jeddah or Dhahran.

In most areas of Saudi Arabia, and particularly in Riyadh and the central part of the Kingdom, women wear a full-length black covering known as an Abaya, and cover their heads. Women who choose not to conform to this dress code face a risk of confrontation by Mutawwa and possible detention/arrest. Men should not wear shorts in public or go without a shirt.

Many areas of life in Saudi Arabia are segregated by sex to ensure that unrelated men and women have no possibility of "mingling" (khulwa, a punishable crime). Some Mutawwa try to enforce the rule that men and women who are beyond childhood years may not mingle in public unless they are family or close relatives. Mutawwa may ask to see proof that a couple is married or related. Women who are arrested for socializing with a man who is not a relative may be charged with prostitution. Some restaurants, particularly fast-food outlets, have refused to serve women who are not accompanied by a close male relative. In addition, some restaurants or cafes don’t have a "family section" in which women are permitted to eat. These restrictions are not always posted. This is more common in Riyadh and the more conservative central Nejd region.

Dancing, playing music, and showing movies in public are forbidden.

ENTRY / EXIT REQUIREMENTS FOR U.S. CITIZENS: A passport valid for at least six months and a visa are required for entry. Visas are issued for business and work, to visit close relatives, and for transit and religious visits by Muslims.  All Saudi Embassies have the authority to issue the 5-year visas, but only the Saudi Embassy in Washington, D.C., and Consulates in the U.S. appear to be doing so with any consistency. There have been reports by U.S. citizens that they were refused a Saudi visa because their passports reflected travel to Israel or indicated that they were born in Israel. Women visitors and residents must be met by their sponsor upon arrival. Women who are traveling alone and are not met by sponsors have experienced delays before being allowed to enter the country or to continue on other flights.

A Saudi man who wishes to marry a foreign woman is required by law to seek the permission of Saudi authorities. Since February 20, 2008, a regulation exists requiring the Saudi man to sign a document giving irrevocable permission to his foreign wife and the children born of their union to travel in and out of the country without restrictions. However, it seems this document is rarely demanded by authorities and in any event it is not retroactive. Even with such documentation, the foreign spouse and their children may still have difficulty leaving Saudi Arabia freely. Also, if a couple consisting of a foreigner and a Saudi living in Saudi Arabia divorce, the foreign parent cannot under any circumstances leave the country with the children born of their union even if he or she is granted custody rights. 

CRIME: Crime in Saudi Arabia has steadily increased over recent years, but remains at levels below most major metropolitan areas in the United States. Visitors should take precautions to reduce their risk of becoming victims of crime.  It is advisable to travel with a companion, if possible. Private Saudi citizens who perceive that a foreigner is not observing conservative standards of conduct have been known to harass, pursue, or assault that person. The U.S. Embassy in Riyadh cautions U.S. citizens that Saudi Arabian police authorities have detained potential witnesses to crimes without charges or access to legal counsel, and with limited or delayed consular access, during the investigative stage of criminal cases, which can take months. On occasion, Saudi authorities have temporarily confiscated the personal effects of detained potential witnesses. Even when released from detention, witnesses to criminal incidents may be prohibited from leaving the country until investigation of the incident is complete.

CRIMINAL PENALTIES: While in Saudi Arabia, you are subject to its laws and regulations, which sometimes differ significantly from those in the United States and may not afford the protections available to the individual under U.S. law. Penalties for breaking the law can be more severe than in the United States for similar offenses. The Saudi Government requires diplomatic missions to request visits to incarcerated individuals via formal diplomatic channels, which often causes delays in providing consular access to those citizens.  

Persons violating Saudi Arabian laws, even unknowingly, may be expelled, arrested, imprisoned, or even executed. Suspects may be detained without charges or legal counsel, and with limited consular access, for months during the investigative stage of criminal cases Penalties for the import, manufacture, possession, and consumption of alcohol or illegal drugs in Saudi Arabia are severe. Convicted offenders can expect long jail sentences, heavy fines, public floggings, and/or deportation. The penalty for drug trafficking in Saudi Arabia is death. Saudi officials make no exceptions. Customs inspections at ports of entry are thorough. The U.S. Embassy and Consulates General have no standing in Saudi courts to obtain leniency for a U.S. citizen convicted of alcohol or drug offenses.

Saudi authorities do not permit criticism of Islam or the royal family. The government prohibits the public practice of religions other than Islam. Non-Muslims suspected of violating these restrictions have been jailed. Homosexual activity and adultery are considered to be criminal offenses and those convicted may be sentenced to lashing, prison, or death.

While some countries will automatically notify the nearest U.S. embassy or consulate if a U.S. citizen is detained or arrested in a foreign country, that might not always be the case. To ensure that the United States is aware of your circumstances, request that the police and prison officials notify the nearest U.S. embassy or consulate as soon as you are arrested or detained in Saudi Arabia. While staff at U.S. Embassy and Consulates General will make every effort to visit incarcerated U.S. citizens, they may experience delays in obtaining permission from the Saudi authorities for the visit.

Saudi customs authorities enforce strict regulations concerning importation into Saudi Arabia of such banned items as alcohol products, weapons, and any item that is held to be contrary to the tenets of Islam, such as pork products and pornography. Imported and domestic audiovisual media and reading matter are censored.
Saudi customs and postal officials broadly define what is contrary to Islam and therefore prohibited. Christmas decorations, fashion magazines, and "suggestive" videos may be confiscated and the owner subject to penalties and fines.

TRAFFIC SAFETY AND ROAD CONDITIONS: While in Saudi Arabia, you may encounter road conditions that differ significantly from those in the United States. The information below concerning Saudi Arabia is provided for general reference only, and may not necessarily apply to all locations and circumstances. 

Temporary male visitors may drive on their U.S. driver's license. U.S. men employed in Saudi Arabia should obtain a local driver's license from the Department of Traffic Police. Women are not allowed to drive or ride bicycles on public roads.

Traffic accidents are a significant hazard in Saudi Arabia. Driving habits are generally poor, and accidents involving vehicles driven by minors are not uncommon. In the event of a traffic accident resulting in personal injury, all persons involved (if not seriously injured) may be taken to the local police station. Drivers are likely to be held for several days until responsibility is determined and any reparations paid. In many cases, all drivers involved in an accident are held in custody regardless of fault. U.S. citizens involved in an accident should immediately contact their sponsor and the U.S. Embassy or nearest U.S. Consulate.

Acclimated

I walked out of our garage this morning at 7:45 to take the kids to preschool, and as a cool wind blew over my shoulders, I thought to myself, "Wow, it's chilly!  I might want to change this tank top to a t-shirt today." 

So I went back inside and called the Time and Temperature number out of curiosity.  It was.... 83 degrees!  Chilly, indeed! 

What strikes me about this is 1) how much I've acclimated to the heat, rendering 83 to feel chilly, and furthermore, 2) that this has been possible considering how I've essentially lived inside where it's 72 degrees all the time.  How can I walk out of 72 and into 83 and notice that it got cooler?  I guess the body is somehow able to compartmentalize indoor temperature from outdoor temperature.  It is used to that wall of heat outside, and doesn't recognize or associate air conditioning with that.  Fascinating. 

In other news, we have had high cirrus clouds for two days now.  Wow, something different!  They say it might rain sometime in November.  We'll wait and see!

All you people back home, enjoy the leaves for us!  We are still stuck in the Land Without Time, so it's hard to feel like fall here.  But hey, no raking for us!  Ha HA!  

That's Entertainment!

Lawrence is my cars and trucks man.  He loves anything with wheels (except the vacuum cleaner). 

Before we came here, Lawrence ALWAYS pointed out, in loud, enthusiastic form,  EVERY SINGLE police car, fire engine, ambulance, and school bus that we ever saw.  When we left Charlotte, I felt like we were leaving a part of him behind, because we had to say goodbye to all these vehicles that he was so aware of.  Of course, they do have a smattering of police cars and fire trucks here (no ambulances that I've seen) but they never have their sirens on and they don't look like the real thing anyway.  They are really just plain old company cars with a single blue light stuck on top. They also have buses, but they are more like Greyhound buses, even the ones for school - no more yellow school buses with the red stop sign. 

However, he does see a lot more earth-moving vehicles here.  This is because everything here is crazy and they use giant earth-moving equipment for all kinds of unnecessary things.  Like picking up grass clippings from the lawn mower (below).  While obviously a waste of resources and energy, it makes for great entertainment for a 2 1/2 year old!  (PS - happy half birthday, buddy!) 

The workers are using the front loader (? - not sure if that's right) and dump truck to pick up an armload of grass clippings.  Lawrence was SO EXCITED! 

Ten minutes later.  Yes, we are still standing here.

And yes, they still are picking up that same arm load of grass clippings.  They are (clearly) not very efficient. In fact, now that I think about it,  I could have done this faster all by myself and nine months pregnant.  Here, they have four guys on the ground, one in the front loader, and one in the dump truck. 

 

 

So at least it's not a total loss of vehicle observation.  Thanks, Caterpillar!

Fat Rolls

I couldn't resist:  I decided to document Catherine's fat rolls. 

I am doing this mostly because they are so HUGE!  I anticipate that they will go away soon because she will grow - not to mention she is really close to crawling, so those calories are getting ready to be used up - and I want to remember just exactly how round she was at 6 months.  Catherine, I know you are reading this in 13 years going "MOM, you did WHAT??"  but you so sweet and plump these days and I want to remember. 

Well, this one is not so much fat rolls as I love her face looking down.  She loves that rattle.  I suppose you can see some fat rolls on her arm.  What you can't see are her second and third chins.  They are there, though. 

OK, here's what I'm talking about.  Look at her arm.  Not only does she have them at every joint, they are also in between all the joints:  wrist, forearm, elbow, upper arm, and shoulder.  It's hard to tell, but she also has one on the top of her foot. 

Here we have foot, ankle, ankle again, knee pit, thigh, and thigh again. 

Wow.  Mike calls her Thunder Thighs.  He'll have to stop that before she gets to be a teenager.

"Are we through with the photo shoot yet?  How did I do?" 

Lookout world - she is almost crawling!  And I ALMOST got a bow in that hair...not much longer now!  Sweet fat baby.

Overheard At Dinner

Opening Scene:  Benchichs seated at dinner table.  Stage right is Everett.  Stage left is Lawrence.  Mama and Daddy at the head and foot of the table.  Baby Catherine in high chair near Daddy. 

Everett:  Ha ha, I know a joke, the penguin is flying!  Ha ha, he is flying over the plate! Penguins don't fly, but Penguiny is flying!  Flying!  He's flying! (etc, continues on and on)

Mama:  <eyes down> Yes, we see. 

Everett:  Isn't it funny that the penguin is flying?  <Penguin noises> That's what a penguin flying sounds like!  Ha ha! Flying!  Isn't that funny?  He's flying!  <zooming noises>  Flying!  <more penguin noises>  Watch penguiny fly!  (etc, continues loudly)

Mama:  That joke is getting old.  You should pull the plug on that one. 

Everett:  Pull the plug, pull the plug, pull the plug!  Pull the plug, pull the plug out, pull the plug..(etc, continues for 4 or 5 minutes.)  Pull the plug, I'm pulling the plug, pull the plug out...

Daddy:  This is a flash forward of what he'll be saying 50 years from now as he's leaving my hospital room.

Mama:  <snarfs water>

Daddy:  Remind me to give Lawrence the medical power of attorney. 

Dates for Dummies

Since coming here, I have learned a lot about dates. 

Before, I usually thought of dates as very small cubes, say 1 cm x 1 cm, that come in the box of Quaker 100% Natural Cereal.  I also thought of Dromedary Dates, which are also small cubes.  I knew that they were cut off of a larger fruit and possibly squished into the shape of a cube, and I vaguely knew what a real date looked like, but that was about it.

Of course, they sell dates at the commissary.  Reliably.  Wow!  This may be the only thing that is consistently at the commissary!    Not only that, but they come all different ways and in different types. 

Over by the deli counter, they sell the vacuum-sealed dates.  These are a bunch of dates all squished into a plastic container and vacuum-sealed until they are even more squished.  These are the kind that are great to throw into your suitcase for presents when you go home.  They also keep a long time if you don't open the package.  They taste just like regular dates, so there is no reason to not get them this way unless you don't feel like wrestling the package open every time you want a date. 

Usually, we get our dates from the commissary's "Nut Man."  There is a "Nut Counter," rather like the deli counter or the bakery, that is all nuts and dried fruits.  The Nut Man stands behind the counter and scoops out what you want, weighs it, gives it a sticker, and hands it to you just like you are buying cold cuts.  Here is a pictures of the boys visiting the Nut Man.  They love to go there because we can get dried kiwi, too. 
 

The Nut Man has four kinds of dates.  I forget what they are called since it is all in Arabic, but the upshot is that the more expensive kind really do taste better.  We have tried all the kinds.  (And we've tried all the dried fruits, like mango, raisins, and figs.  The Iranian golden raisins are not worth getting because the US golden raisins are better!)

Right in front of Everett there are four kinds of dates going back.  The round cylinders by his had are figs.  Green is kiwi, orange is mango, yellow is pineapple.  The white in the back is coconut (I think).  The nuts are over by Lawrence and farther on to the right.

So anyway, I thought I was pretty up-to-snuff about dates.  Well, I was in the produce section the other day, and I saw "fresh local dates" there.  I had never seen any dates like that.  They look like giant golden grapes.  Fresh dates?  So the others are dried? 

I thought all dates looked like this:

 
 This is what they look like when they fall off the date palm tree.  I know because the boys and I found a date palm tree on camp with ripe dates that were falling off.  They were falling off onto the ground (the dates still on the tree were so high there was no way to get them), so we collected some and ate them.  They tasted perfectly normal.
 
But these dates looked like this:

???

Are these unripe, or not-quite-ripe, dates?  I was intrigued.  So I bought them.  I brought them home.  I showed Mike.  And I tasted one. 

YUCK-O!  Blaech - I spit it out and wrinkled up my entire face (before I could stop myself, and the kids saw me do it so now they don't like these kinds of dates either).  The normal kind of dates are soft and sticky sweet and chewy.  These kind are crunchy like an apple, and bitter.  I thought, "Maybe I just got a bad one" and tried again.  Pah-tooie!  Nope.  They are just bad.  I did convince the boys to try a bite, and they agreed that they were bad.  Mike says he sees guys at work eating these all the time.  Why??  The other kind are so much better! 

So now I know that there are "good, normal dates" and "bad, fresh local dates."  Duly noted.  They say that Bedouins could live in the desert for weeks on end by living off of only seven dates a day.  I hope they got to eat the good kind! 

X Rated

So here's something funny...

They do a lot of censoring here, of all forms of media.  For example, all the magazines that they sell are previewed by some government agency, and if any of the content is deemed inappropriate (i.e. women wearing short sleeved shirts or showing their legs) they take a black permanent marker and color over it. So if there is a Martha Stewart Living issue that comes out that has an ad for, say, pool and patio furniture with a picture of a girl in a bathing suit, EVERY SINGLE ISSUE of that magazine will have the girl marked out with black permanent marker.  (We are buying stock in Sharpie while we are here.)  Same for CD covers, books, etc.etc.

Same for TV - lots of images are pixeled out, especially cleavage.  The latest is that they are bleeping out the word "pork" when people say it on TV, for example Rachel Ray doing a cooking show.  "I'm taking the <bleep> chops and marinating them with rosemary, and then you'll know when the <bleep> chops are done when the meat starts to fall off the bone."  Ugh.  Come on, guys.  We all know pork exists.  Crazy Saudis.  They are addicted to rules.

So anyway, the funny thing is that despite all this, the satellite TV service we have here shows hard core porn.  Yes.  They have a porn channel.  It is not blocked or pixeled out.  WHAT??  "Pork" = no but PORN = YES??  Oh the irony.  Somebody really dropped the ball here.  Uh, hello?

(If you're going to let that slide, I'd really like to have the word "pork" back as well.  Thanks.)

And - now here's the funny part - word on the street has it - that on one of the residential streets sort of close to us (well, everything is close to us...it's about half way to the main gate from us) somebody has a giant TV in their house and does not close the blinds.  And they watch porn.  GIANT porn. 

People have noticed.  Word has spread.  Did they report it?  HA HA!  These deprived people?  NO WAY!  You know what they did!  They gathered outside the person's house and watched!  They brought lawn chairs!  They brought snacks!  This is happening in Saudi.  This is hilarious!

Then somebody got mad and called the Middle School.  Ha!  Really?  What exactly is the Middle School supposed to do about it?

And here I am, not allowed to take pictures of the outside of my house, or my new baby in the hospital.  

Typical.  Welcome to the upside-down-crazy-world we call home.  

P.S.  PORK, PORK, PORK!!!  There.  I said it.